love are so sweet when we are happy with our partner. but when we fought. and i meant a really serious fight. sometimes i start wondering whether he da one for. how cud he hurt me so bad. when i heard rihanna song title "cry" it seem a story that connected to my love life. i NEVER let my feeling so attached to my lover.
but with him. it seem so different. i HATE smoker. but he smoke. i cant change people for who they is. that not love. and he give me so much love. pampered me so much. know my favourite so well. what else i cud ask from him?? but my life not a fairytale. happy story. we do fight. and i realise we fight over silly thing.
it just not me to tell people even him who i message with. or who called me. but he asked me o do that. he said that he trust me. and when we sit together and talk about it. he always has the g0od point. he do tell me bout his girl-friend. but im not really care. cuz i know he love me and adore me. he not handsome or macho kind of guy. but he has his own unique charm and cuteness. he always tease me. give me time-out w/o him to do whatever i wanted. so i let him take his time when he needed~
he complete me. he know how to talk to me when im down or mad. but he always do this thing that i hate but love. it hard to describe. its like u kinda love the thing he do but then u think it over and u wish if it just not happen. i can talk ol day about him. how he talk. i never be like this before. is this my true love? cuz if so. please let him stay with me~
throughout my semester break...I work at my dad restaurant...as cashier...punch-in at 4 o’clock and punch out at 1 in the morning.it is cliché when people always tell you that working at ur father’s place isn’t really a big deal.....you can come late to work~doesn’t go to work the next morning~but if I kept that attitude I would kept that for the rest of my life and that not a go0d thing for my future either..but honestly I tell you that,I do that sometime..hahaha...you noe~im teenagers...sometime I wake up late but I never go to work really damn late like other worker....when i at work i will met a lot of people with different attitude and behaviour...sometime when food are served late some people wud just be calm, told me that our service are bad and not even mad at me but for some people it can make them very rage and just storming word out...watching people eat, talk, laugh, or making moves that funny at my eyes...lol..but it is outside of work area right...?as for work i really enjoy it but it do bored when no customer in the restaurant....i would just sitting, doing nothing or play card in the computer..i don't really have friends there....i meant friend that really can laugh with or gossip with....lol.....but stil i must work...my parent are blessed quite amount of money but i never really felt that im rich....we have cars, couple food branch, holiday sometimes but i never can really ask for money to shop from them..and that's another reason why i work through my break.....so for my conclusion....
p/s: work = money and money = happy + SHOPPING....!!
i remembered when im working, i can predict which night that will have football match. bukan aku tak suka cuma aku rimas dengan sikap sesetengah orang yang takde adab nak tengok match kat restoran ayah aku. memang dorang bayar makan sume. tapi kami yang tanggung bil nye. im also support it if it is a match between Malaysia.
so, nak jadik cite, satu malam ne datang a group of UTHM student serbu restoran. datang2 je tros dok almost depan tb. dengan muka excited suo aku tukar chanel bola. aku yang malas nak layan buat muka tak paham. sekali dorang datang kat kaunter tanye remote mane??! (eloo!ne bukan uma korang suke2 nak pegang remote) aku malas nak banyak cite, bia kan je remote uh dorang pegang. jangan rosak suda. emm. so bila dorang da selamat tukar chanel, match yang dorang tunggu2 tak jugak start. 10min lepas tuh game takde jugak, dorang bayar makanan dorang dan balek. kesian pulak aku tengok tapi....tuh makan dia. haha. naseb aku tak marah depan2. kan da dapat balasan da.
p/s: |what goes around, comes around|
my college having its break. i done my finals. but really did not know how it gonna turn out. juz hoping ol my result pass. that wut ol i ask for. i didnt want any bump in my course. im free for now. after this break i gonna continue my 5th semester. it getting harder. that why i guess it IS called learning. hahaha~
emm. my sis get straight A's in important exam xcept spm in her life. our parent are so proud. i can tell from their face. but when it come to me. they juz hope that i can pass it. she even got offer to matrix. but me? just getting in half-gov college. so embarassing to be a bad model for my sibling....
haa~
sometime i even think to switch place with her. let her b the eldest. now she offer for university~ she told me that she want to study far from our home cuz she stress with our house situation (my mom lecture to be exact)
akhir-akhir neh aku selalu kalah dengan chenta. hati terlalu sayu minggu neh. kadang-kadang aku rasa chenta yang membara dulu semakin malap. inikah perasaan apabila chenta yang telah hampir dua tahun?
chenta mahukan aku berubah dari segi mental yang seperti kebudak-budakan. dan dia mahu aku lebih matang menghadapi kehidupan. mungkin itu perlu cuma aku benci orang yang suruh aku berubah. tapi chenta aku pada dia sangat berlainan. aku tak main-main. aku sayang dia.
tapi bukankah chenta perlu menerima aku dengan kelemahan dan kekurangan? aku cuba pujuk hati. walau dia kejam menuduh diri. haa~ hati neh masih terhiris dengan provok ganas tanpa budi bicara. cemburu yang membuat aku rimas.
sedangkan perkara sebenar tidak begitu. aku tidak curang. tak pernah terpikir. (oke, maybe pernah bila geram. aku neh manusia biasa) tapi tak berniat untuk ada yang lain. aku mahu dia. aku dilema memikirkan mana letak kepercayaan dia pada diri ku. bagi aku, chenta bukan lagi perkara main-main. aku mahu serious. walau perlakuan aku tidak melambangkan itu.
p/s: without trust there is no use to love
